still

I'm sorry for everything
lately I've been thinking
maybe I'm better off alone
so I can do no harm
whatever I say, think or do
for me there's no happy ending
without you
I'm still right here
trying to find myself
wherever you are or go
that's still where I want to be

-june

Willing and Unable

I can't do it anymore
Not because I'm too weak to
But because I don't know how
Sometimes when things break in two
There's no glue that can fix them
And there's nothing left to do
But let pieces lie in peace

I Could Use Some Dynamite--And Lots Of Bandages

An ocean of waves
crashing to shore
behind a rock wall
so high I can't see over
so thick I can't hear through
The sea breeze is in the air
I know the water's there
but I cannot touch it
so I turn my back
to the forbidden coast,
bruised, bloody knuckles
finally at rest
in my pockets.

soul to soul
we add up
to a whole
that feeling
grows and grows
with each word
i'm never
as crazy
as when i
think of you

if my words
hurt
imagine how much
hurt
i must have felt
to have written them
and how much
love
to scrawl them
alone
not scream them
aloud
while my heart
broke
 

i don't love you
i just want to take your heart
and place it somewhere safe
and stitch little wings
onto all of your dreams
so they can fly away
i don't love you
i just want to tie you down
on a pedestal to raise
and make you believe
you are more than you see
a human diety
i don't love you
i just want to make you smile
and fill you up with light
and steal all the stars
from the greedy night sky
so every wish comes true
i love you
so all of these things
that i want to do
i want even more so
for you

imbalance confusion turmoil
hurt becomes hate
lies and secrets breed distrust
sorrow and anger are cause and effect
i hold it all in and explode
i let it all out and implode
chaos devastation and ruin
i take the blame for the effects
but the cause is not mine alone
(therefore) nor the effect
repeating patterns circular cycles
STOP
it ends within
no effects for any cause
action not reaction
i take back autonomy